That’s So Mets

Met history is a series of front office moves causing leaving fans asking themselves just one question: Why? Why would they annually pay Bobby Bonilla $1 million through 2035? Why would they give Jason Bay $66 million? Why would they let Daniel Murphy walk after his post-season heroics? Just, why? The Mets are so notorious for weird, crappy things happening to their franchise, that “That’s so Mets” is a common phrase.

The question this year, is why does Mickey Callaway still have a job? Their managerial hire in the 2018 offseason has not worked out so far, and after suffering last weekend’s sweep at the hands of the lowly Miami Marlins, many in the fanbase are calling for his head. So, naturally, when the Mets’ front office announced a press conference on Monday afternoon, the assumption was that a change would be made.

Agent turned general manager Brodie Van Wagenen sat down at the podium as dozens of reporters anxiously awaited his news and he announced that, just like they all predicted, Yoenis Cespedes has broken two bones in his right ankle.

Wait, what?

That doesn’t sound right, since Yoenis Cespedes hasn’t played in an MLB game since his one game appearance last July.  But fear not Met fans, your general manager has not lied to you. Cespedes is out for the year. How did Cespedes break his ankle you ask? Just your routine, falling off a non-horse at his ranch in Florida. Non-horse is not my term. That’s how the Mets described what he fell off. A non-horse. Now, I’m no country boy, so I have absolutely no idea what a non-horse is, but I do know it’s the most “Mets way” to have an injury.

Not only is the injury bizarre, but it is utterly consistent with Yoenis Cespedes’ Met career since he was made baseball’s highest-paid outfielder.  Cespedes played a huge role in the Mets 2015 World Series run, and they awarded him a three-year deal from which he opted out after 2016. To avoid losing their prized outfielder, in November 2016 the Mets signed Cespedes to a whopping four-year, $110 million deal. In the two seasons and two months since he signed, Cespedes has played in just 119 of a possible 369 games. By the end of this year, that number will be at 486, meaning Cespedes would have played in just about 24% of total team games, while making $80,500,000 over that span or $676,470.59 per game played, assuming, of course, riding a non-horse isn’t a breach of contract.

So, unless Cespedes returns next year and has a near MVP season, his contract will go up on the Mets Wall of Shame, where he will join Mo Vaughn, Bonilla, Bay, Oliver Perez, Luis Castillo, and so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, many more.

Oh, by the way, Van Wagenen also put faith in Callaway, saying “Mickey’s our manager.” That’s so damn Mets.

Enjoy these tweets from suffering Mets fans (NSFW):

And, the one tweet that sums it up perfectly:

Adam Koplik

Rudy said my bio was too long. Hamilton College '25 Yankees writer, fluent in nerd. Follow me @adamkoplik on Twitter.

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